Don't Judge Me Okay?

Lately I have been addicted to watching TV shows that contain a lot of crazy drama. I have never been against those reality shows that are either scripted or not, and always saw them as a way to escape real life for a while. You either envy the lives of these people or you pity them. It's all for entertainment. I don't find any comfort in seeing people yell at one another, but I can't help not love it right now! There is just something about the craziness and the drama that makes me feel like I am living!

I am a shy individual and simply always have been. I tried to participate in sports and dance as a child, but my shyness always held me back. The worst was doing school presentations with all those eyes starting at me. Allowing the shyness within me to keep me from the things I wanted to do is a big regret in my life. The only times I have ever been able to overcome this part of me was in my work. No matter what I was doing as a job I was the friendly outgoing girl. I guess I felt like I was in my own zone.

I think this is the reason that I tend to lean towards TV shows with strong leading characters. I watch someone like Patti Stanger on Millionaire Matchmaker and just envy how she takes no bull.  She has an opinion and she shares it whether the other person wants to hear it or not. I certainly do not want to ever put anyone down and be mean, but to almost fight back and be successful would be amazing. Take the table of judges on Shark Tank; they tell you how it is, why it is and where it is. Maybe they are just so confident in what they are saying and in themselves that even if they were wrong, who cares! But these people do not get to where they are by being wrong. Or shy.

I look up to characters like Buffy and Elle Woods. They are beautiful girls with brains, strength and courage. They would never allow anyone to walk all over them or put them down. Maybe that's why they are called fictional characters?

Nah, I know women just as amazing as them, and am meeting more and more each day. I think I just might even be one of them :) Sometimes anyways.

Now just for fun, let's take a look at some of the crazy and dramatic people I am enjoying lately. Watching these people is just giving me some excitement that seems to be lacking in life right now. I love where I am at, but come on! Don't we all need a little pizazz sometimes???

Celebrity Apprentice: Oh so full of crazy people and nothing but drama!

Do I really need to explain this one???

Don't act like you haven't stopped to watch. 

Look Who Came To Dinner Three Hours Early

I knew I was going to make a slow cooker roast this week, but wasn't sure what night. D usually refs sports  2 or 3 times a week and either has no time for dinner, or does not want a big meal (I don't mind though as it lets me off the hook!). We decided to do the roast for tonight ... but didn't make that decision until 8AM this morning. Seeing as the meat was frozen solid I panicked and put it in the crock pot on high to help it defrost a bit. Once I saw that it was all good I seasoned it up and set the temp on low.

All day the house has smelled so wonderful! I was checking on my meaty pride and joy every 30 minutes or so and was just beaming with accomplishment. I have made a few roasts like this and they always turn out pretty good. I know they are usually a bit well done for D's liking, but he never says anything. The last check I did was at 2:30PM ....... and it was DONE.

My roast is done just in time for a late lunch! That would be awesome if it wasn't meant for a 5:30 dinner!!

My plan now is to wrap it up in foil then throw it in the oven to warm up right before it's time to eat. I may even paint on a little bit of bold BBQ sauce for presentation.

This UN-domestic goddess is going to have a cup of coffee and watch The Food Network.

How I Found My Bestie Because Of A Veggie

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.  ~Frances Ward Weller


So, I have this best friend and she completely applies to the quote above. It's almost like it was written just for her. She always manages to tell me things that I know are true, but just need to hear from someone else. 


I met Shannon I believe it was a little over 4 years ago. We hit it off right away and she has since then been someone I can say the absolute craziest $@&* to. And I mean crazy. We don't get to see each other very much as she lives just over and hour outside of #yeg. Thank goodness for texting! We text pretty well all day everyday. I would imagine that is what keeps me sane. 


Unless I am crazy and she makes me feel normal because she is crazy. 


Either way, I will never forget the one word that brought us so close together. Are you ready for it?? Cause it will blow your mind ....... VEGGIE. I know what you are thinking .... how do vegetables bring people together? We weren't talking about the food. We were talking about the front weggie on a girl. A Veggie. I think I am going to leave that to your imagination. 


But just in case ......... 

Before I began writing this post I was trying to recall how long ago her and I had met, as it seems like forever, and I came across our old Facebook messages from when we first began talking. Oh my were we ever a pair right from the start! It was almost like I have finally found my soulmate. 


Now just to piss her off I am going to post a really sweet photo of her. This photo basically shows you her personality. This is my Shannon. 

Faking It Till I Make It!

My Mom always had six great words of advice for me whenever I was attempting something new......


Fake It Till You Make It


I went into every new adventure with the mind set that I knew exactly what I was doing. I truly feel I never failed at anything.

When I decided to go back to school at the ripe old age of 30 I was totally freaked out. My mind went back to that terrifying first day of grade 2 at a new school. I walked into the classroom and everyone turned their heads to look at me. I cried. I begged my Mom to go home and get my Cabbage Patch Doll named Holly for me. Pretty sure I made them both stay by my side that day. I'm shy ok?

School was just not my thing. I hated it! I was so shy that if I was late for class I just didn't go. I was one of those students that never lived up to their full potential.

So I knew I had to fake it till I made it this time. I needed a persona to help me feel the part and gain confidence. I went to one of those stores in the mall that sells jewelry, socks, hair attachments and tween make up.

I bought a pair of fake glasses.

I put those glasses on and walked into University with confidence, smarts and a positive attitude. I walked out with a 3.6 GPA, no missed classes and was never late. I faked it all the way to my cap and gown.

I put the glasses away for a long time, but recently came across them and pulled them out. I set them upon my face this morning and my whole attitude changed once again. Mind over matter? Who cares, I feel great with them on and they help me feel more focused.

Maybe I should go get my eyes checked???

Like I Said .....

Here is a cake I made for D last night. Tasted pretty good but ...... photo speaks for itself.

Things I Love .....

I would like to share with you a few things I enjoy that are just for me.

I  love a good glass of red wine. Especially when paired with great conversation. 

Crazy socks! Why not??

Class Hollywood. Movies. Biographies. Glamour.

Books. I love books. Reading, buying and opening. 

A good story. Reading one, writing one or sharing one.

Vanilla. Mmmm vanilla. 

 Ballet. Plain and simple.

Love and romance. True love. Love stories. Le sigh. 

I am a woman. No need to explain this one.

I Think, Therefore, I Am.

To me, being "self aware" means that I know I am alive and here, but I also realize how my actions affect those around me. I am aware that if I kick the back of a movie theater seat, someone is bound to feel it. The chick behind me at the movies last night is not self aware.

Mother Nature Wants Some Respect

I get stressed out when terrible things happen in the world. Here I was thinking how awful things were because of all the snow we got in #yeg this winter. Aw boo hoo I am stuck inside with my baby because it's too cold to go out, and there is too much snow. Boo hoo hoo.  Seriously? I was still able to go out and get food. I was still able to sleep at night all warm and cozy. How does -35 weather outside while I am warm in my home really compare to five minutes of the earth shaking under me, or water washing away my car?

Ya know how us girls usually have had our weddings planned out since we married Barbie to Ken? What happens when you feel like it will never be like that? Is Vegas the easy way out?

I have always wanted the princess ball gown wedding dress, 5 brides maids, champaign toasts and ... to be honest..... a day all about ME! I really hate being the centre of attention, but I am a die hard romantic. I want my groom to gaze up at me while I walk down the isle and see in his eyes how much he adores me. I want him to mess up his vows and for everyone to laugh. I dream of a traditional wedding full of ooooos and awwwws and little girls who will go home that night and dream of their own big day.

My boyfriend D wants to get married. I have no doubt he does. He has agreed for us to have a traditional ceremony and reception as I have pictured my whole life. My only concern is that he has been there done that. He married his high school sweetheart once. Will it make our day less special? More special? The same? He tells me that it will be even better, but I can't help having thoughts. I feel almost sad.

I often wonder if I should just save us some time and money and hop a plane to the City of Lights. I know he would do that in a second. But no! I want my dream wedding. Is it ok for me to still believe in that dream?

It's Not You, It's Me.

I get excited when I see that I have profile views. Then I realize that it is just me.

Don't Talk So Much!

I recently went to a trade fair that was aimed at Mommies and their babies. There was about 70 booths set up with people selling organic baby supplies, resource magazines and jewelry. Something different for a Mom's day out! But of course we all brought our children. I was wishing that AJ would enjoy being in a baby carrier as there were a lot of issues navigating the isles with strollers.

So I was walking past a table that I really wanted to avoid. It was two chatty ladies selling a product which I will not name but it was for cleaning. This was a cloth that only needed to be used with water so very eco-friendly which is awesome. As these ladies stood there and yammered on and on all I could think was .... seriously? Shut up! My child is getting fussy because the stroller has come to a halt, I am now holding up a long line of Mothers who want to get by and I do not get that intense with my cleaning. I use paper towel ... sue me. Although I did recently start cleaning with vinegar rather than chemical cleaners. Point for me!

I just feel that at these types of events we should not be getting the whole shopping network shpeel. Keep it simple and Mom friendly. I don't know about you other Moms, but I sure can't hold my attention as well I used to.

I did buy Audrey Jane a new hat though!

This Is Me. I Am Who I Am.

Every time I sit down to write my mind does one of two things: 1) goes blank or 2) has so much running through it I can't sort any of the thoughts into words. Pretty much the only time I could write something really awesome is when I could not possibly do it. For example: when I am driving, having a shower, feeding Audrey Jane or watching TV. Why can't I write and watch TV at the same time? I am lazy.

My mind is a busy place. I used to lay in bed at night and over think everything. I would have conversations with myself and/or practice dialogue I wanted to have with other people.  Nowadays I am tired enough that I fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. Reminds me .... I want to pick up a satin pillowcase. Anyhoo, I figure having this blog will be good for me. I have never been an opinionated person. Not to say I don't have opinions, but I am not the type to express them as much as some people I know. I am quite introverted.

I am here in hopes to share experiences, make you laugh and offer advice. I have been through a lot in my life and have a lot to say about it. I don't judge people and am a great cheerleader. I have been through the ringer on the dating scene, experienced depression and suffered some losses. Right now though, as I write this I am in a good place. I am a Mommy, I have found love and feel more sane than ever. Don't get me wrong, I have moments where I rock back and forth hugging myself, but that just makes me human.