Honey Garlic Chicken Fail

Have you seen those Nailed It funnies going around? D and I have a good laugh over them.

There is a new one that just came out today .......

 Sadly ...... it's mine. And it's real.

All Mommy Wanted Was a Shower

This isn't going to get gross or nake-i-dy but here's what happened while I was in the shower this evening.

Me: Ahhhhh this is nice ......
AJ - MOM! I want cheese whiz toast please!!!!
Me: Ask daddy or wait until I am out.
AJ: NOOOOOOO!!!! I want you!
Daddy: I will get it for you hunny.
AJ: NOO! MOMMY! WAAHH!
Daddy: I will do it or you have to wait for Mommy to be out of the shower.
Me: As if I am ever getting out.
AJ: NO way! Waaahhh!!!!
Daddy: Really??? I can just make it.
AJ: Ok.
Me: Thank you Lord.

AJ: I want 5 pieces!
Daddy: You are not going to eat 5 pieces of toast.
AJ: I want 5!!!!! Wahhhh!!!! MOMMY! Daddy says I can't have 5!!
Me: You can have 1 piece cut into 5 pieces like you always do.
AJ: NO I want 5 pieces!! FIVE! Waahhh!
Daddy: That's what I told her! Cut into 5 pieces.
AJ: I want 5! stomp stomp stomp
Me: How about 2? Then both can be cut into 5 pieces and you will have 10! (Still showering)
AJ: WAAAHH! I want 5!!!
Me: You can have it like you always have it. That is it.
AJ: Fine.

Me: Tra - la - la - la
AJ: WAH no I want 5!!!
Me: (praying) Make it stop. Please make it stop. 
Daddy: I cut it into 5 though!
AJ: (jumps onto our bed for a tantrum) Daddy look what I found!
Daddy: Mommy isn't very smart! You hid her Valentines treats on the bed and she found it and opened the Kinder Surprise box.
AJ: I want it all!!!!
Daddy: You can have one.
AJ: NO! WAAAHH! MOMMY!
Me: Really??? Just one shower! That is all I wanted!

In all fairness, AJ asked me to make her toast BEFORE I had a shower and I purposely forgot and tried to get in before she noticed. Oops.

Sorry, no photos for this one.

While Waiting to be Rescued ...

AJ and I got locked out of the house today. Not really locked, but more like stuck. My key would not turn! Just simply would not budge! I tried the backdoor as well and for some reason I couldn't get the deadbolt to move either. Crap.

Here I was with a 3.5 year old, a truck full of groceries and it was -20! Plus, I had to pee. Not cool. I called D and he made his way to rescue us.

As AJ and I waited, she had the privilege of sitting in the front seat of the car. It was like a spaceship to her - she was WOWED! I didn't realize that she has never actually been in the front before. She was checking everything out and asking what everything was for. Then she made a few discoveries.

Please don't judge me.

"Wow Mom, you have my half eaten apple from last week in the cup holder."

"You have lots of paper and other pieces of garbage."

"Busted!"

As Moms we are lucky that our child don't judge us at such an early age. I appreciate that she seemed okay with her Mommy having a rotten apple in her car. I told her it was important to always have food in the car for emergencies. You know, in case a horse or bear tries to get in. You can throw the apple at it.