My darling husband is out of the house all day so I have been left without care and am responsible for the well-being of a tiny human with a big personality. God love her.
All I want to do is drink tea and read my book. That is it. Leave me to die from a virus that is trying to overtake my nearly 39-year old body. I will not put up a fight. But alas, I must try to entertain this child who constantly wants something from me. Can I do this? Will my ailing body give me the strength? Yes, as I have recently been empowered by a post I read from Scary Mommy. I was ready to set boundaries and take moments of selfishness for myself, especially in this time of need, as I withered away from illness.
I told AJ that I was going to decide what she could do for herself and what I would still do for her. Need a glass of water? By all means, help yourself. Want to cut an apple in half to see if the core is in fact the shape of a star? Let me help you with that. Life was about to get easier.
"Mom. I want to build a fort. No, a palace! Then I promise to let you rest."
With light at the end of this sickly tunnel I got up and began constructing the most magnificent palace for my princess. Nine chairs, one table, eight blankets, three sheets and 20 minutes later - I had done it. It was perfect. She was happy and I was ready to bask in the silence.
I sunk into the couch, opened my book and ...
"Mom, can you help me bring all my toys down here?"
"Um, not sure you want ALL your toys, but go ahead and bring a few down."
"Can you come help me?"
I have to mention that by this time I was SWEATING! You know when you're sick and your body gets hot and you sweat from simply getting on your knees to pray that you are soon saved from this plague? That was me.
"You know what sweetie? Mommy doesn't feel too good, so I would really appreciate it if you did this on your own." (remember the boundaries I wanted to set?)
"No, I need you to help me. I'm just a kid!"
"Yes and I am and old mother who doesn't feel great. So sorry, not going to happen."
My child and I are very much alike and at this point we had both made up our minds, and had no plans to change them. The result? We fought about it. I tried to explain that if she had simply done it herself, she would be done by now. She tried to explain that I would get no more hugs EVER if I didn't help her. Both arguments pretty valid, yet not strong enough to make someone break.
The fighting continued. Tears were shed, pleading was done and even a few giggles were heard (I won't tell you which came from me). My tea got cold and her fort began to sag in the middle. We were at an impasse.
Light bulb! I had an idea. I suggested she grab her toy bag, which is normally stuffed with Barbies, and use it to transport her desired toys downstairs.
A few minutes later she arrived dragging her bag of toys like a little child Santa Claus. Finally this ordeal was over and I could get back to my book.
But before that could happen, AJ decided she was hungry and needed a rest, which was fair seeing as she worked so hard to build the fort. *Insert eye-roll here* I took a deep breath and warmed her up some pasta. She turned on a movie and happily ate while I, once again, sunk into the couch to unwind.
Then it happened. The worst thing that could of happened at that moment ACTUALLY HAPPENED!
AJ decided she didn't want the fort anymore. As the sheets and blankets crumbled down around me, so did my hopes and dreams of ever being sane again.
At least I know what I want for my birthday next week - a white jacket and rubber for my bedroom walls.
